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    I Need You

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I Need You
This is for anyone who’s going through a rough patch and wants to feel desired, appreciated and sexually empowered. Detach from your worries for a few minutes and come and hear how badly I want you. Click here to download a higher quality, extended version of this, as well as two full unreleased audios.

After 9 long years of busting my ass, I levelled up career-wise less than a week ago. In addition to earning more than 3 times my original salary (bumping me up to a six-figure income, baby), I’ll have a lot more autonomy and control in the workplace. I started my new position on Friday, but on Thursday night I was so excited and nervous that I couldn’t sleep. Usually I’ll listen to some music or to an erotic audio if I find myself in insomnia’s annoying grip, but on that particular night I was a bit too restless and pumped to just lie in bed with my headphones on. I needed to make some sort of intellectual exercise of it, so I pulled out my good old notepad and stopwatch and basically repeated this, but with the above audio. 

So, some random observations:

1. He says “I need you/it/that” 17 times (give or take 1-2 times) in the extended version of the audio.

2. The regular version of the audio is 15 minutes and 54 seconds long, whereas the extended version is 18 minutes and 25 seconds long. Hence, the extended version is 14.8% longer than the regular version. I’d only ever listened to the extended version until Thursday night, so I was quite surprised at what he left out of the regular version (i.e., it’s a very good 14.8% hint hint, wink wink, and such).

3. This isn’t so much an observation, but I can’t help but laugh every time he does the whole “Mmm, YES!” bit whenever the hypothetical subject in the audio (i.e., the listener) finally stops teasing him. Not in a “Hey, I bet it would be fun to blueball the poor fellow” manner, but rather in a “Good for him, getting a proper fucking at last in the context of this audio!” sort of way.

Ah, I suck all the fun out of these audios, don’t I? Top notch material, though.

Innovation at its finest (kind of)

I normally don’t do this sort of thing, but it’s so damned hot right now. One of the more effective ways I’ve found to cool off, other than running my A/C almost constantly, is to slip some ice packs down my sports bra.

Yeah, I know I’m not exactly packing the double D’s, but that just means a lot less sagging 25 years down the road. Also, pardon the shitty tan line from my watch.

What’s everyone else doing to beat the heat?

Burn, baby, burn

If you factor in the humidity, it is 40 degrees outside. The inside of my apartment is not much cooler.

Fuck, it’s just one of those days when it’s too hot to do anything. The heat just saps all of your energy. I don’t even think I could touch myself right now. All I feel like doing is lying face down on my bed, quietly succumbing to heat stroke.


I suspect this is what I’ll look like in about an hour, but without the mens’ shoes.

Ugh, I wish I could just lie in a bathtub full of ice right now. But, you know, without the whole drugged-up-and-missing-a-kidney part.

On a more serious note

Ya. Your audio man sounds like a dick. Non-consent is a very very tricky area. It’s a easy to say “well this is fantasy, not reality and therefore I can record what I want” and it’s true that a good many people get off on coercion or perceived lack of control (including me) But an actual lack of control, ie rape and real emotional or physical harm, is extremely serious and not addressing this (which most people don’t) assumes that fantasy has no part to play in what people do in their real lives. Which is BS. Listening to audios has had a positive effect on me and my relationship with my husband. So one assumes that it could also have a negative one.
I did like your post. You used your great sense of wry humour to explain something you were annoyed about. I’m glad you got your thoughts down. Have a good day x

— elfished

My biggest issue with the person whom I was referring to in Passive Aggression is how he can often come across as egotistical and smug, (or at least that’s how I perceive it). At first I thought it was just limited to his Q&A audios, but I find that it’s also reflected in some of the comments he makes on the website he is affiliated with. I suppose it doesn’t help that for everything he posts, there are dozens of replies consisting of “*swoon*” and “unf!” (as a sidebar, how “unf” managed to go from an onomatopoeic noun to a noun, adjective, AND verb is beyond me). There’s nothing wrong with enjoying positive feedback and compliments, but it’s important not to get a swelled head over things.

In his comment on my Passive Aggression post, Product of a Wandering Mind made a good point in that all of us are guilty of saying things that might not come across the way we intend them to. I don’t know the man behind those Q&As in person, and for all I know, he may very well be a really nice guy who may have just used a poor choice of words. I’m sure he wouldn’t have attracted such a large fan base if he was a total asshole all of the time, so I’ve no doubt that he has a lot of good traits, as well.

The fact that this individual is into a degree of BDSM that I’m not personally comfortable with isn’t what irritates me about him. What a person enjoys in the bedroom is certainly no reason to dislike him/her, and I’m genuinely sorry if I came across that way. To that end, I’m perfectly content to just avoid his more intense audios and peacefully co-exist.

Before I address the topic of forced/non-consensual audios, I’ll add a trigger warning for those who may be distressed by discussion of rape and other types of sexual assault.

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